Dell and the Printer from Hell
Ahhhh Dell. If I didn’t know better I’d think it was run by the government. No real offense to you, government. I know you just can’t help yourself, and neither can Dell, which is why, for a crazed moment, I thought that there might be a connection.
As some of you may know, I purchased a new Dell printer, a 2130cn laser, back in July. Outside of the obscene cost of the 4 necessary printer cartridges, things went swimmingly for 3 months. Then the magenta cartridge stopped printing. No reason, no error message. Tried everything … nothing changed.
The printer is made in China. Tech support is in India. Since Dell doesn’t make their own printers, it’s probably a Lexmark, and I seriously thought of calling them, but regained my sanity after wondering where their tech support might be located. I don’t think this global economy thing is working for anybody except the select few at the top of the consumer food chain. It’s sure not working for me. It’s bizarre, and even extraordinary (as our suave leader says) that you have to pay extra to speak with someone in your own language, in your own country, concerning a product you paid for with your country’s currency. And you do pay extra, a lot extra, to speak to someone whose native language is English. It’s called Gold Support. Apt name, given the current price of gold. I don’t have Gold Support. The printer itself was a financial stretch, but the reviews were good, and buying quality in this economy seemed the sensible solution to needing a printer. So I called Dell, and the fun began.
It was about 8:00 pm when a lovely woman somewhere in India put me on hold for 12 minutes and conferred with her supervisor. They had never heard of this error before. She said that they thought it might be the Developer Assembly. They could mail me one which I’d have to install, or they could just send me a new printer, since I was under warranty. I chose the new printer, as I am hopeless with hardware issues.
The printer arrived in under 24 hours. I was beyond impressed. Silly me.
The unit wasn’t new, it was reconditioned. My hubby had already packed the “old” printer up and lugged it to the basement for FedEx pickup, as she told us that the “new” one would be ready to go once it arrived.
Plugged the recon printer in and immediately received an error message … “Insert PHD” Now, I couldn’t print at all. Called Dell and spent the better part of 2, yes 2, hours in various forms of HOLD. I was transferred from one department to another. The upshot was that we had to unpack the “old” printer, remove the PHD (Print Head Device), and install it in the “new” printer, which came WITHOUT a PHD. OMG!!!! By then I was half crazy, and you don’t want to know what the hubster was. When I asked Dell/India if the PHD was under warranty and got a yes answer, I asked if that could be the problem with the magenta toner. They didn’t know. When I asked why, if it was under warranty, they didn’t include a PHD with the “new” printer, they tried to send me to their legal department (which is located in the fifth circle of hell), because they don’t have a manual/teleprompter for that question. I declined.
The “new” printer with the “old” PHD (there’s a PhD. joke here, I know there is) was now telling me that I was missing a Dell Printer Driver called dlxriziu.dll. The “new” printer couldn’t find it on my install CD, so I looked for it on the official Dell Printer Driver page. Couldn’t find it there, either. It was a mystery, as the nuns used to say.
Hubby went to bed like the sensible man he is, and I stayed up till 2:30 am … much of which time I was on hold with Dell, due to “unusually heavy call volume”, which I now suspected I understood. I passed the time uninstalling & reinstalling my printer software, drinking gallons of coffee, and writing a heartfelt product review on one of Dell’s 25,000 web pages. A review they’ll never publish.
And after all that work, and all that time, we still don’t have a clue as to what could be wrong, and we’re still not not able to print anything red, although we’re now seeing a lot of it.
Soon I’ll be calling Dell again. Stay tuned.